(Long) Distance Makes The Heart Fonder
If you’ve had a chance to catch our blog from last month, then you’ve probably been waiting for part deux of our “Tell-It-As-It-Is” series by the team.
Remember Phoebe Buffay and her scientist boyfriend, David, from Minsk? This month, we’re talking about one of the most challenging types of relationships: LDR (no, it’s not a new party drug – that’s millennial speak for long distance relationships). They come with their own set of hurdles and joys, and despite the cynicism, we, at Sirf Coffee, have seen them work out beautifully. Our next Sirf Coffee wedding in February 2020 arose from a long distance relationship – so here’s hoping these tips can make it tad bit easier for you, and bae.
#1 Focus on quality communication
Use this to your advantage. If you are in a long-distance relationship, you lack the ability to have a high quantity of communication compared to couples that are together in close proximity. If you have daily bedtime conversations, for instance, give a little thought beforehand to the most important parts of your day to talk about.
#2 Don’t put your life on hold
Long-distance relationships require some sacrifice. But it’s important to be careful not to sacrifice more than is necessary, which can breed resentment and regret over time. Prioritise time for friends and family, hobbies, and simple pleasures. That’s actually good advice for any relationship, but it’s particularly important when doing long-distance — you have to create happiness for yourself. This is especially risky when the long distance part of the relationship is supposed to last only a brief period of time, but unexpectedly becomes extended for a longer period.
#3 Don’t rely solely on tech
Many long-distance couples may not have made it, if not for FaceTime or texting, and all the other technological advances that have made it so much easier to stay in real-time contact with their significant other. But don’t underestimate the joy of receiving something tangible from them: a funny postcard, an unexpected gift, or a delivery of your favourite dessert. Care packages were not just built for parents of university students.
#4 The T Word
Yeap. Trust. Jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it often acts irrationally. The difference between feeling it and expressing it is crucial in a relationship. There will be many nights and weekends where both of you will find yourselves at bars, clubs, and parties amidst a sea of alcohol and strangers. That one Insta photo with drunk strangers or new friends might lead to feelings of insecurity. Set your personal boundaries ahead in time – especially what is acceptable, and what isn’t. At the end of the day, if you trust each other, there is nothing to worry about.
Compiled by Noopur Pal