HOW I FOUND LOVE
They say that in order to seek true, honest love, you need to learn to feel that way about yourself first. It seems easier said that done, but really is a powerful tool that goes a long way. So here’s the gentle, poignant truth: you attract what you are.
A great highlight of our job as matchmakers at Sirf Coffee is meeting a lot of diverse, interesting people every day, who, with their own beliefs / ideologies and sensibilities, teach us something new instead.
In December of 2016, one such former client that I had the joy of meeting, was the eternally positive, cheerful and radiant Tulika Singh. I remember her sharing her life story with me and how she’d become the person she is proud to be today. Her journey was fascinating and as inspiring as a potent ray of bright, blinding sunshine – enough to clear a sky full of grey clouds. If you’re ready to believe in the good things life has to offer, then get this: she even went on to find love through Sirf Coffee (her story is one of our happiest, heart-warming success stories), got married in 2017, and now lives with her husband in Europe.
This story, is about her journey.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Being an Army kid, I grew up all over the country, changed about a dozen schools and ended up making a lot of friends everywhere I went. With a dual degree in English and Mass Communications, I worked in Advertising and Brand Communication for almost a decade, before I began to feel a sense of fatigue and reluctance to get to work. While I loved what I did, but it wasn’t something I wanted to do forever. And just like that – I quit. I had no game plan, no next move. As chance would have it, I began a jewellery business shortly.
I’d been practicing Buddhism at the time for a few years, and had begun to deeply believe in the basic principles of perseverance and the ability to see everything from a forward-looking perspective. Continuing my search to do something meaningful and hopefully make a difference in the world, I was introduced to Access Consciousness®, a global organization that works in the field of personal change and transformation. What began as a learning journey, led me to becoming a Certified Facilitator for their workshops. I now travel all across the globe organizing and conducting personal change workshops. After all the years, I feel like I’ve finally found my calling.
What is Access Consciousness?
Founded by Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer nearly 30 years ago, Access Consciousness is a bit of a radical approach to changing the way you interact with the world and thus the way the world interacts with you. We teach pragmatic tools that allow one to look at any situation in their life from different points of views and at some point with enough practice from all possible points of view – which usually gives one the required information and capability to change the problem or go beyond it and create something even greater that they thought was possible. It empowers you to know what you know and provides you with ways to become totally aware and to begin to function as the conscious being you truly are.
Access Consciousness is available in more than 170 countries and has contributed to changing the lives of millions of people around the world, over the years. What most people love about it, is that it actually works! It is executed through seminars, tele-series, books, audios and consultations.
How does someone create a good relationship?
- A relationship is constant work and consistent effort, just like almost everything else in our life. And that is okay!
- I believe in treating my relationship as one of constant betterment. How can I do better? How can I make my partner feel better, happier? What can I do proactively to keep our relationship fun and filled with ease? I think the secret is in looking for ways to keep the magic alive.
- Exercise! If you are looking at a fun, fulfilling relationship that calls for a new adventure every day, give your body the love and care it deserves. It’ll make you so happy, and thus result in a happier relationship.
- Be grateful. There will be days when you won’t be at your best, your relationship may not make you feel content, and your partner may not be your favourite person of the moment. And that’s okay. It is during days like these that you need to realize how lucky you are to have found them and for having them as such an integral part of your life. With this feeling of gratitude, those minor irritants will pass sooner than you expected! Keep a journal of the things you are grateful for, and read it during the times you forget 🙂
What are three things that stop people from finding love?
- Unreasonably high expectations from yourself and / or the other person that add to unnecessary pressure.
- Not being ready to accept the changes that love will bring to their life. When you decide to spend your life with someone, things will change. A lot. You can steer the changes for the better if you work together as a team.
- Carrying excess baggage from the past. Talking from experience, my partner and I have our own share of stories from the past. But it is our understanding and maturity that allows us to set aside our insecurities and worries of the past, to live a better today and envision a loving and happy future together.
When did you realize that you’d found your soulmate?
I think most people usually get to this place in life where they stop looking for ‘The One’, as that notion is more a dreamer’s Utopian ideal. At least that is what I think!
The important thing is that there are some people out there that will match your basic, realistic expectations to a fairly high degree. They respect you, complement you and appreciate the role you play in their life as much as you do in theirs. It is more like fitting the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, filling in the gaps and finding the perfect balance of your yin and yang energies.
For me, it was more about how different I was than my partner in terms of the adult lives and experiences we had lived. Sure, it was important to find some common ground to connect on (it helped that we had similar basic family value systems and that he was also an Army kid!). My partner-in-crime is someone I travel with, and share life’s biggest escapades with. We tested our togetherness and strength by travelling alongside, before sealing the deal, and haven’t looked back since! 🙂
Interviewed by Noopur Pal