Going The Extra Mile(s)
A Dummy’s Guide On How To Work
A Long Distance Relationship
“Just relax. He’s young, charming and enjoys his beer as much as you do,” said my friend, Neha, as we entered a buzzing bar in Bombay. I was being set up with her cousin who was visiting for the weekend. There was apprehension, of course, meeting a guy who lives in a different city.
How would I get to know him? How would we make it work? Would I have to hop onto a plane every time I wanted to see him? It was a long shot and even before I’d set my eyes on him, but I’d made up my mind – a few beers and conversation later, I’d be on my way home.
Turns out, we ended up being the last ones to leave that night. We even stayed up texting each other all night – and the many nights that followed. As weeks rolled into months, the texting was replaced by video calls and before I knew it, I was catching a flight to go see him. An honest discussion on how things would work if we decided to give this a shot, led me to say yes. With a resolve to meet once in every three weeks and a tummy full of butterflies and happy thoughts, I flew back home with a full heart.
Eight months later, I am now committed and happy. Yes, with the same guy. We’re making our long-distance relationship work, and it’s not easy. It’s definitely not effortless, but then, which relationship is? The beauty of it all lies in the simple fact that you love someone enough to trust them wholeheartedly, irrespective of them knowing that he / she lives in a different city. Distance means nothing when someone means everything.
Are you wondering on how to keep the spark alive, even though your partner is a hundred miles away? Here are some fun ideas on how to make your long distance relationship feel just as special as any other.
Set A Routine
Not meeting each other often is hard and can strain your relationship or worse, fizzle out. Take the time to set a simple routine with your partner. It could be small things like always saying good night to each other over the phone, thoughtful texts, or video chats once a week. Do things that make both of you happy. And sometimes, do cheesy/silly things that you know would make your partner smile.
If the two of you are in the same time zone, this should be your favorite. Virtual date nights over Facetime/Skype are so easy to plan and coordinate. Order / cook the same comfort food (even pizza works if you’ve had a long day), pour yourself a glass of wine, sit across your laptop screen and just have fun. It doesn’t hurt to dress up a little or make an effort in looking good, either, just like you would in the same city.
Create a list of places that the two of you would like to visit together. This could involve activities / sports that excite you both. So there’s scuba diving in the Andamans. Surfing in Thailand. Walking trails in Himachal Pradesh. Pub-hopping in Prague. Take your pick, book your tickets, and be on your way. It is a great way to get to actually get to know your partner (the good, the bad, and the unbearable), and let him discover different sides to you, too. A couples’ bucket list is so much fun to whip up one up, together.
Surprise Your Partner
She’s probably upset with you after a fight, or maybe he’s had a bad day at work. With so many online shopping portals / delivery services / task managers available, it so much easier to surprise your partner with a little something, flowers, or even comfort food from their favorite restaurant! If your partner and you are hopeless romantics, go the old-school route and mail handwritten letters. (Yes, the kind that involve postage stamps!)
Plan Your Next Visit
Always, always, always have your next trip planned. Set a countdown. It gives you something to look forward to. Sometimes, on a rough day, it is also comforting to know that both of you will be meeting in twelve days, nine hours and twenty minutes. Better yet, surprise him/her at the airport! A cute sign / flowers will wear off that jet lag, with your big smile.
Written by Noopur Pal