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A LOT LIKE LOVE

They say that there are many kinds of love, but it’s never the same love twice. As Life throws many adventures and curveballs your way, it is in the small, fleeting moments of learning, self-realisation and lessons that will, more often than not, change the definition of the four-letter word.

The moment you let go. The moment you take a leap. The moment you allow yourself to consider the possibility that a sum might be bigger than two parts. 

This February, we share the words of Roshni* from Dubai, an eternal optimist, who also found her partner on Sirf Coffee.

What It Meant To Me
Love has been romanticised since time immemorial. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I grew up believing that dancing in the snow wearing a chiffon sari (with or without my partner) would be as glamorous and eternal as love can be. The Bronte sisters and Shakespeare only added to the dramatics of it all.

I often wonder what it is about my now fiancé, Ankit*, that I love. Maybe I can zero in on one thing, or a few. I realised after a conversation with him recently, it is the fact that I agree with what he stands for: his values. I admire his outlook and response to life and everything it has to offer; his habits (even though it’s hard sometimes!); and his personality.

Love Lesson 101
Over the course of my haphazard relationships or hearing my friends experience theirs, I have come to understand that love is deliberate – the kind of deliberate where you are willing to make the effort. The effort to understand, to be understood, to accept, to be accepted, to enjoy and to be dejected too; all done willingly.

 

Falling In Love. All Over Again.
Love, to me, isn’t a spectacle anymore. It is not an impetuous decision. It is not the first 3 to 6 months, the honeymoon period. It is far more. It is actually far more beautiful than just the romance. When I look at how my definition of love has evolved over the last few years, I have very bitterly accepted that gallivanting in the snow without a jacket is a brutally painful; that books may add the much needed intensity but literature cannot be literally translated into personal relationships. Because they are different, and vastly so.

Love Is All Around.
Back in the day, great conversation, a possible common connection, even infatuation would compel me to see things take flight. However, over the last few years and especially now since I am in a serious committed relationship myself, love for me stands for the following:

  1. A value system you both believe in
  2. A personality blends with yours; you want to be with someone who complements you in every possible way
  3. An easy-going partner who is adjusting and doesn’t mind manoeuvring habits (all in the name of love)

Happily Ever After
On a parting note, I must add that this time around, love has allowed me to watch myself evolve in the most magnificent manner. Sure, we all have our hiccups, but when the last “I love you” of the day is said, all seems okay. All seems peaceful. All seems familiar.

 

* Names have been changed to protect privacy

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