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Whether we admit it or not – we all want to meet someone special. You want to dream big together, share funny stories about friends and family (just to hear the other laugh), be comfortable enough to confess your darkest truths, and simply melt into their arms when you’re having a hard day.

Dating isn’t as hard is it’s made out to be. Keep in mind these few, but essential basics, and hey – who knows – you’ll find yourself in a fulfilling relationship soon enough.

1) Finding ‘the one’ doesn’t come with a deadline
Make dating a choice, not a chore! Only giving priority to the aspect may frustrate you (leading to desperation), while clinical detachment will only make you jaded / wary of the process. Stay positive and patient instead, and see it as a new way to meet interesting people. Because that’s exactly what it is.

2) Keep an open mind
Why lose out on someone great just because they are vegan or don’t enjoy mainstream Bollywood movies? You don’t need to date a mirror image of yourself. Relationships change with time, and so do traits, habits – and believe it or not ­– dietary preferences.

3) Take the initiative
Friday night ‘Netflix and chill’, and swiping in every direction will only take you so far. Thanks to easy access on our phones, modern dating can become a merry-go-round of dissatisfying brief encounters – with ghosting, bread crumbing, catfishing, etc (we’ll elaborate on this glossary on another day). Going on real dates, face to face, is a game changer, people.

4) Put yourself out there, genuinely.
Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, but can be an endearing quality. And hey, if you start feeling a little overwhelmed or clueless with the sudden onslaught of real human interaction, you know your matchmaker at Sirf Coffee has your back (sorry, we couldn’t resist that plug).

5) The Art of Conversation
Urban legend has it that only a few are lucky enough to find ‘the one’. And as we all know, most legends are myths. Immediate romance-killers are outdated questions like, “what are you looking for?” and, “tell me more about your hobbies”. Don’t treat people like a bio-data, or think that you have to interview them to get to know them – it will probably put them off.

6) Be honest, about, ahem, yourself.
Being self-aware is a must in every relationship. None of us are perfect (although we secretly believe we are) and need to stop assuming that no one is good enough. You can advertise your strengths, but learn to embrace your flaws and look at this as an opportunity on how you and your partner can build a well-balanced relationship.

7) People don’t mould your definition of happiness – you do
We’re not encouraging unreasonable, reckless behaviour, but hey, we’re all wired differently. Remember, the ‘success’ of a relationship is very subjective. For some, it could be marriage at 28 and starting a family at 31, while someone else could be looking for their soulmate at 54 to travel the world together.

8) You attract what you are
We’ve all heard this: Your vibe attracts your tribe. The moment you are in the company of a positive and cheerful mindset, you feel an instant sense of calmness and positivity. And let’s face it, no one wants to be in a gloomy and depressing relationship. A happy soul will attract happiness in abundance, so wear your best smile and believe that good things are on the horizon.

9) You won’t fall in love right away.
Allow the person to grow on you. Remember, those first impressions aren’t always reliable or fail-safe to know whether it will be an amazing relationship. It will require having those tough discussions, a few teary-eyed arguments but when you rise above these mini storms, it’ll all be worth it, because you’re walking in with those blinders off.

10) Live in the present.
Leave your emotional baggage where it belongs – in the past. No two people are or will be the same. Ask yourself why you’re reluctant to find love to pursue relationships. Even if your previous relationship didn’t go exactly as you planned or are single by choice: know this – we all deserve a chance to love, and be loved.


Words by Rachna Shah

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